No More Pluto? That's Just Goofy!

Catching up after a lethargic summer

A Plutonic Relationship
So what are these Mickey Mouse astronomers doing anyway?

Poor cold, dark, lonely Pluto has just been demoted to a minor planet, and now our solar system only has a total of eight major celestial bodies! Why, when I was a boy...well, actually there were only four planets but Galileo and Copernicus would soon find more.

Actually, I'm pretty surprised because I thought if any planet in our solar system wasn't going to make it, it would be our own Earth. I'm still hedging my bets on that.

Well, the astronomers really had two choices: add a couple of smaller planets to our solar system (including, under their definition, Kirstie Alley), or declassify the former "Planet X." Considering the state of education these days, it seems unlikely our schools could support teaching two more planets--we don't have the funding for that. So better that Pluto gets left behind and school children only have to memorize eight.

In a prepared statement, the Bush administration applauded the decision of "less learnin'; less stuff to remember," and looks forward to the day when we can use our advanced technology to wipe out the "Hemorrhoid Belt" which they believe is located somewhere around "Yeranus."

By the way, this blog entry is repeated from my blog at MySpace. To get to my profile, go to

Geezers and Karma
It occurred to me that I haven't added a blog entry all summer, pretty much. Friends of mine know that there have been a lot of things going on in my life so pardon the fallowness. I have been saving articles to comment on, but here in the dog days of August, none of them seemed interesting. There was some report that a paralyzed man was able to move his computer cursor simply by thought (electrodes implanted in his brain). And some Japanese gadget can record and play back odors—now that's actually a pretty big thing to add to movies, etc. in years to come. And of course there has been more happening... the Middle East...the continuing deterioriation of Iraq. North Korea. Iran! Nice job, W. I used to know a guy in college who made a noise that can't be spelled, but if it could, it would be Errrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee. Nice President we got here. And thank goodness someone came to their senses and booted Joe Lieberman out of his cobwebbed kosher seat. Maybe there are Democrats after all. But, really, I don't care.

The only notable articles I saved pertained to people maybe getting what they deserved. Who sez greed and money are all they're cracked up to be?

Y'all remember the Anna Nicole Smith tale--she even went to the Supreme Court. Well, can't say I'm a huge Anna Nicole Smith fan (when anyone's looking, anyway) but I did feel like her 80-year old geezer husband J. Howard Marshall actually left her a fortune, and she probably earned it. But poor Anna Nicole was dogged by the geezer's son (a geezer himself). E. Pierce Marshall. Justice be done, he dropped dead over the summer.

And the same with greed-king Kenneth Lay (though conspiracy buffs like me think he just simply went underground). Dropped dead at 64.

Speaking of when I'm 64, poor Paul McCartney! And I felt stupid I didn't have a pre-nuptual agreement! Yeah, money can't buy you love, Paul, but the love you take is not always equal to the love you make, unfortunately. And Ms. Mills/McCartney did answer the question, "will you still need me, will you still feed me." With a snappy "No." Well, at least you've got a leg up on her (sorry, but I'll bet John would whisper that in your ear).

See you in September.

Posted: Thu - August 24, 2006 at 11:27 PM