Anna Nukehole and a Smattering of Things

Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter

Anna Nicole: Still Dead?
As tragic as her entire story is, the Anna Nicole saga reminds me of the old Saturday Night Live Weekend Update routine (I think it was Chevy Chase): "Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead." And it seems that Anna Nicole's funeral rivaled his. Lots to do about a former topless dancer. Not that I don't sympathize and haven't been as fascinated by the lurid coverage as the next person. Especially the legal aspects of it. However, Easter isn't all that far away, and I do half-expect to hear that Anna has gotten up from her Bahamian resting place to do a last installment of The Anna Nicole Show.

And to tell you the truth, I have thrown my hat in the ring to possibly be the father of her baby. Well, that is if she could get pregnant off a copy of a Playboy from the 1990s. So sorry. Just kidding. Couldn't resist. She does deserve to rest in peace and be free of all the insane attention and haggling that has gone on around her. Let's hope we can get back to real and critical news about world events. Hey, did you hear that Britney shaved her head?

Ooops Wrong Country
There was a great headline today: Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein. I just had to laugh (there)—it reminded me of a Monty Python sketch. Ooops, wrong country, excuse us. At least both countries were civilized about it and the leader of Switzerland didn't say they needed to stay in Liechtenstein because they had WMDs--or to fight the Liechtensteinien terrorists on their home ground! Imagine invading the WRONG COUNTRY. (I can almost guarantee Bill Maher will use this joke this week.)

No Nukes, New Nukes, Old Nukes, Blue Nukes
Well, the Imperial States of America announced today that, as we ask the rest of the world to disarm, we will be creating a new generation of nuclear weapons. Yeh, that's the ticket. Make the world hate us even more than they do. I mean, some English people and a couple of Australians somewhere still like us. What tickles me is that the administration sold this to Congress as "Don't worry, we don't have to actually TEST them." Well, looking at everything the government does and develops, I'm sure we can just take their word that, sure, these things will work just fine. So to further follow that policy: "Let's just not and say we did."

"Yeah, we have new nuclear bombs. They're big, they're bad, they're behind that curtain so you can't actually see them. In fact, they're invisible. Yeah, that's it. So give us your bombs and don't worry about a thing."

Smatter? We're AULD
And, in case you have not been the recipient of one of my trillions of email messages or bulletins, the college band in which I played (if I say "my" college band, we have to have negotiations, ha ha) reunited here in Ashland in Feb to jam, hang out, and record a few new songs. We had a great time and sounded at least as good as we did the last time we played together--30 years ago! If not better. You'll find new songs on our MySpace site. The Smatter site also has a couple of reonion pictures, but songs won't be uploaded to that site for a little while.

Sorry to go so long between blogs. It's been a long, cold, lonely winter, little darlings. :)

Posted: Fri - March 2, 2007 at 02:31 PM